God's Page

By

Susie Jansen　

Introduction

“Looks like a great vacation!”… I typed those words in the small rectangular box following the words, “write a comment.” Would she see through those five words? Would she know the depth of my envy? Hopefully the exclamation mark would fool her, and she’d see it as a sincere loving reply from a long lost childhood friend who had been perusing her photos on Facebook.

Yes, she could be fooled, but my heavenly Father could not. I knew how He felt about envy. He didn’t want it zapping my spirit, and neither did I. I could feel His piercing but loving stare and could do nothing but confess… “Lord, forgive me. I envy her. I envied her as a child, and I envy her now. It was that photo of her lying in the rapids, sprawled out on those rocks, all tan and looking like a super model in her bikini that did it.”…so weird to have stumbled onto that after I had just posted my own photo of me with my husband and three children posing in front of some rapids as well. The contrast overwhelmed me. An apprehensive half smile peeking out from beneath an oversized large brimmed straw hat, coupled with a low v neck tank top that revealed my tanless skin and not a sign of cleavage, now made me cringe as I stared at my photo - funny how I had thought the hat was so cute when I had first discovered it in the little shop on St. George Street in my hometown of St. Augustine, Florida.

When I had posted the picture on my page, I was reluctant. I was recovering from a serious illness and the effects were still visible. However, I knew I looked better than I had. Many of my Facebook friends had been praying, and God had made me well enough to hike to those rapids, so at the time it made sense to post it and show others I was doing well.

What had shouted, “Victory!” in that photo, now screamed, “Defeat!” as I stared at my gorgeous, tanned, toned, and downright voluptuous friend in her own version of enjoying God’s beautiful rapids. Consequently, I regretted having posted the horrible picture.

It was in that moment of regret, that I believe I heard God speak to my heart… “Don’t look so much at her page and don’t look so much at yours. Focus in on Mine. You have seen and cherish what I have done and am still doing through you and others who love Me. It’s not posted on a wall, but it’s posted in your heart and in My Word. You’ve been asking me lately about that book… the one you know you need to write. You keep asking, “When?” and “What should I call it?” You can write it now. You’ve got the material you need… and the title is God’s Page.”

The message was given. My envy was gone, and I was left instead with the anticipation of the new task before me… my journey through God’s Page.

Prayer

Dear God, Thank you for the privilege of writing these posts. Please allow Your Holy Spirit to speak through me. I cannot do this alone. Somehow let Your voice resound through these entries and speak to us where we are today. Allow each person reading this to understand that these entries are but a glimpse of Your reflection. As the Apostle Paul wrote, “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12

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